Time pass by, when I grew up, I was starting to realize many things that happen to me, my disability, things that made me different among other people. For the first time I felt so unconfident, shy with my self, felt so different with my friends. Because my parents so afraid of me, when I went to the new school when I was in grade 5, my mother told my home teacher about my disease and what were things that I cannot did. So when my home teacher gave announcement about me as the new student, my home teacher told my classmates that I was very easy to get swollen, so after that, some of my classmates mock me. But it did not take long time till they can accept me the way I was. Even some of them very kind to me, protect me. Therefore, if anyone of you have friend who suffer Hemophilia do not see them as awkward or people with many disabilities but rather see them as a normal person because they also want to get normal life.
As long as the time pass by, me and my family still did many things but this time what that me and my family did was far more positive than before, because they brought me to many religious meeting but still no sign that I got heal. Until one condition I felt so hopeless and felt so disappointed with God because I had done many things but still no miracle happened in my life, saw many people very easy to get miracle unconsciously made me thought that I should also got heal with those way. But if God want to answer our prayer there are 3 types of His answer : Yes, No, Wait. When I listen that sentence my point of view on how God should answer my prayer changed from God should directly answer my prayer into “Okay Lord I believe that You will answer my pray but not now but I believe that one day I will be heal.” Since that time God is like open my eyes to saw from the other point of view, I started to saw many people that is even worse than my condition so that however I felt the pain and many psychological pressure but my mind set starting to change from I thought that I was the most unlucky people in this world into “I am a lucky people because I still have parents and friends that keep supporting and strengthen me.” Since that time I feel so peaceful however I still got many swollen but I have GIVETHANKS and I believe that everything that God let it to happen will be beautiful in the end and if the end is not beautiful then that is not the end. But still I really want to got heal but that is not my life concern most about but rather to glorify God’s name through my life. I was starting to got peace with my condition but it did not mean I give up with my condition.
Since that time I still keep on praying, started to serve my God and till one point I forgot with my disease because for 5 years I had never got any factor 9 injection, I can exercise normally, having my normal life with my friends. In fact, before that time every one month I should injected once or twice. But for 5 years none of those medicine need to be injected to my body because of any kind of bleeding. I still remember when I was child my teeth was took off and it cause a lot of bleeding till whole my pillow full of my blood but in that 5 years every time my teeth is going to took off it only bleeding very shortly then the bleeding stop instantly. Am I already heal? That was a big question for my self and my parents, so my father ask me to check again my 9 factor, but I answer my father, for what I so blood checking when I can do all the activity normally without afraid of get any swollen.
May be many of you asking am I really get heal from the disease that is impossible to be heal. But that question was answer when I enter the Sumber Waras hospital for 5 weeks because when I poop what came out is blood, in the beginning all the doctor diagnose that it come from my hemophilia where my digestive system got bleeding and cannot be stop so after 5 years not get any factor 9 injection they inject the factor 9 to me, but I do not know why but from the beginning I believe that it did not come from my hemophilia and the doctor from Singapore where I usually bought the medicine also said this is impossible that the hemophilian which for 5 years never used this medicine but now he need it. Everything that the doctor did was useless because every time i get better but still what that come out from my poop was blood until one professor came to me and his diagnose said that this is because of the hemangioma in my jejunum and ileum and need to get embolization, before I got embolization my blood was taken to UI to be checked the 9 factor and the result finish after I got embolization. I STILL REMEMBER THAT AFTERNOON WHEN MY FATHER CAME TO MY ROOM AND BROUGHT THE BLOOD CHECK RESULT AND THE RESULT FOR THE 9 FACTOR IS >52%, FROM BEFORE <1%.
As a small note: Some people think that, that 52% is because I had just get factor 9 injection but some people said that since I was small disease that I suffer is not hemophilia but the disease that looks like hemophilia. But can Hemophilian B which is the factor 9 is less than 1% can playing basketball for 2 hours without rest and do not suffer any swollen? If you do not trust me, I am waiting for people who want to play basketball with me and they will see that there will not happen any swollen in my body..:)
Hope it can bless and strengthen all of you who read this.
May God Bless..
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